For Hopper

[already_lost]

She'd never gone to his apartment before.

It hadn't been a conscious decision on her part, but they always seemed to cross paths by accident. On the street. At parties. Neutral ground. Turning up at his door, where he lived with his daughter, seemed now like crossing some kind of unspoken line.

But she needed to see him. She needed to see someone, and while she'd considered seeking out Eponine, she knew that the only person who could really understand her in that moment would be him.

Approaching the callbox outside his building, she was gripped by a sudden, irrational fear. What if he was gone, too?

Bundled against the cold, she pressed the button, waiting for his answer. "Hopper, are you there?"

Comments

[something_incredible]

Beverly is out right now, an appointment with her therapist, so Hopper is alone when the buzzer by the door goes and he pulls himself away from the TV, having not been paying much attention to begin with. For the last ten minutes or so, he'd been considering getting his coat on and heading out to the bar at the end of the block, getting himself a drink.

But then Beverly would smell it on him when she got home. That's the only thought that's kept him in front of the TV for this long. The buzz and the familiar voice are more than enough to get his attention, to make him forget about whatever stupid show he's watching and to forget that he wants a drink. At least for now.

"Yeah," he says, jabbing his thumb against the button that will open the door. "Yeah, hey, I'm here. Come up."

[already_lost]

Laura hesitating, considering just turning around and leaving, but when the door buzzed, she pulled it open, making her way to the stairs with a steadying breath.

Huddled tight in her coat, she walked determinedly to his door, smiling thinly when the door swung open.

"Chuck's gone," she announced lightly, a bubble of laughter caught in her throat.

[something_incredible]

"Shit."

It's not the best thing to say, but at least Hopper pushes the door wider, making space for Laura to come inside as he tries to figure out what the hell else to say. He'd never been sure if he liked Chuck or not. He had seemed okay and Laura liked him, but Hopper had never really gotten to know him.

He knows it's shit, though. He's been here before. Losing Lucy had been a blow, one he still hasn't done anything with.

"That's shit," he says when he closes the door. It's not much better, but at least it's something.

[already_lost]

"Sure is," she said, flopping onto her back on the sofa, one leg dangling off onto the floor.

"His landlord called me. He wanted to know if I wanted anything, before they took it all to the dumpster. Pretty messed up, huh?"

[something_incredible]

"That's a fucked up way to find out," Hopper agrees, sinking into a chair across from Laura. He wishes he was better at this shit, that he could figure out the right thing to say. Nothing he says is going to make it better, he knows he can't fix it, but he wishes he could at least offer something better than that's shit.

"Did you go get anything?" he asks. "Or d'you need me to take you? I can drive you if you wanna... wanna get some of his stuff."

[already_lost]

"I already went. I looked. It's just stuff," she admitted, looking up at the ceiling and imagining that the little flecks in the plaster were stars.

"They took his dogs to the shelter. They gave me a number to call, if I decide I want them."

[something_incredible]

Hopper thinks about what would happen to Ellie if he and Beverly were to disappear and looks over at the dog now where she's lying peacefully in her bed. He can't take on two more dogs, but he hates the idea of them being thrown into a shelter.

"Do you?" he asks. "Want them? Even just one of 'em?"

Maybe he can take one if Laura takes the other. It's a stupid thing to focus on, but it's something he can do, something tangible he can try to fix.

[already_lost]

"I don't have the greatest history with pets," she admitted, her arms folding across her stomach to try and hold back a roil of nausea.

If she tried hard enough, she could remember what it felt like to rest her hand on Troy's muzzle, the warmth of his breath, his big head nudging her cheek. He liked apples and sugar cubes, and had a bad habit of chewing her hair, and she'd loved him, even if she hadn't known how.

"It's not a good idea."

[something_incredible]

Hopper nods and chews the inside of his cheek before he says, "You know anyone else who might be able to take one of 'em? Bev and I could probably take the other. That way... I dunno, you'd be able to see 'em if you wanted."

Two dogs probably isn't any more work than one is. Besides, when he has to work overnight, he hates leaving Beverly alone in the apartment. She's old enough now that it's fine, legally speaking, but it still makes him uncomfortable. Having a couple of dogs might help.

"Or just... tell me to shut the hell up," he says, then exhales heavily. "I don't know what to say. I'm just talking."

[already_lost]

"I don't know. I don't know if I want to see them," she admitted, "Does that make me sound awful?"

She'd cared about those dogs, but they'd never been hers. Just like the apartment had never been hers.

"I broke up with him, Hopper, and then a few weeks later, he was gone. It's pretty screwed up, when you think about it."

[something_incredible]

"Nah," he says. It doesn't. There was so much of Sara's stuff he never wanted to see again. The fact that he'd gone off the damn rails upon seeing the book he read her in the hospital can attest to that, he figures, and she was his daughter.

"It doesn't make you sound awful." He frowns, then gets up and nudges her foot off the couch so he can sit there, dropping her foot across his thighs once he's settled. "It sucks, Laura. Whether you broke up with him or not."