For Marianne

[already_lost]

Laura Palmer didn't sleep.

All she did was dream, crashing awake ill-rested and haunted by images burned behind her eyelids. They weren't nightmares, she hadn't seen BOB in her dreams in years, but they left her equally unsettled.

She wrote in her journal until her hand cramped, needing to put her thoughts to paper in case they slipped away. So much seemed to be slipping away.

When she walked home from class, one of her last before graduation in May, Laura knew she looked pale and withdrawn, dark rings smudged beneath her eyes, but she was sober. She could claim that, at least.

She wanted not to be, but she was strong enough not to give in to herself.

Passing in front of a little bookstore not far from campus, Laura almost missed Marianne walking towards her. In something of a fog, she managed a faint smile, lifting a hand in a tentative wave.

Comments

[quickestgirl]

Marianne had been at campus having a meeting with a prospective Doctoral advisor, and, honestly, she's feeling good about the programme. She'll have to sit the GRE during the summer, but that shouldn't be too much of a problem, she thinks - she'll grab some textbooks after she's grabbed lunch.

When she sees Laura coming towards her, she raises her hand to wave and then frowns.

"Are you okay?" she says, dark eyebrows drawn together in concern. "You look like a stiff breeze could blow you over."

[already_lost]

It was instinct to grin widely, to shrug it off. Perhaps, even, to deflect with something cruel. Instead, she shrugged, her smile small but sincere.

"I guess I haven't been sleeping. Please tell me I don't look that bad."

[quickestgirl]

"Not bad," says Marianne, shaking her head and reaching out to squeeze her friend's arm, her smile reassuring. "Just tired. Come on. I'm going for lunch. If you want to?"

[already_lost]

"I should," she admitted, offering a sheepish wince of a smile as she added, "I'm not even sure when I last ate."

Breakfast? She usually didn't bother. And dinner... Well, she'd never been much of a cook.

[quickestgirl]

A few months ago, Marianne might have said the same thing. Since Sam called her on it, she'd tried to be better -- tried to keep track of when she ate, when she didn't.

"Okay, well," says Marianne. "We can go to a cafe or we can go back to my place and I'll make you something. Your choice." She smiles.

[already_lost]

"I wouldn't mind seeing your place," she decided, managing a faintly hopeful smile. At any other time, it might've sounded a bit flirtatious— and maybe it still did. It was something about her that happened without conscious will, and she'd always attributed it to something evil inside of her... Something like him.

But maybe she was just everyday fucked up. Just a lonely, desperate girl looking for attention and getting it from all the wrong places.

[quickestgirl]

"Yeah, sure," says Marianne, with a bright smile. She raises one hand and brushes her dark fringe out of her eyes and then, impulsively, she offers Laura the same hand. "Come on. It's not far."

[already_lost]

"Okay," Laura said, taking Marianne's hand with a smile that might have been shy, had she been a different sort of girl. Even so, she felt unusually out of her element, but decided to blame exhaustion.

"Am I interrupting anything?" She asked, though she didn't sound particularly worried.